It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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