There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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