Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
