3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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