She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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