so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
