My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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