This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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