Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
