Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
