She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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