he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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