you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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