they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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