I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
