I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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