wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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