I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
