Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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