you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
