i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
