she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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