did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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