I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
