You're so nebulous sometimes
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
