the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
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