I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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