well I can't set my house on fire every night
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
