idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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