dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
