I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
