Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
