You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
