Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I have already put on my inside pants.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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