I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Randomize
