and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Randomize
