I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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