Have you finally orgasmed yet?
babies were throwing up all over the place
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
