I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
