I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
