im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You made out with two different species that night
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
