Swine flu. Run for my life!
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
