Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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