he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
