Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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