So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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