i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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