The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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