Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
