in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
